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I'm not a religious person. I'm a collector. I collect ancient wisdom from multiple traditions and tailor it to my life.  However, I was raised as a Muslim, so that tradition runs deep within me.

I still know the opening prayer in Arabic. I often say Bismillah ("in the name of God") in my head before I eat. And the words Alhamdulilah (thank God) spring to mind whenever I'm especially relieved about something. But I usually don't give these phrases much thought. At least, I haven't until this morning.

This morning, I was writing in my journal as I always do - starting with gratitude, writing out affirmations, and sorting through the things that are my mind. At the end, I was writing a list of things I want to accomplish, and I found myself saying in my head "In Sha Allah" (God willing). 

I always say that silently in my head whenever I, or someone else, says definitively that they are going to do something. I never say it out loud. It's just a reflex. "Next year I'm going to travel to Ireland" (In Sha Allah). "I'm going to get an A on that exam." (In Sha Allah). "When I get paid, I'm going to buy such and such" (In Sha Allah). 

But today I thought more deeply about this phrase. Why do I say "God willing" when I say I'm going to do something? Am I being negative or overly humble? Am I hedging my bets? Am I expressing doubt or scarcity-thinking? 

No, I don't think so. I very much think it's a positive thing. When I say In Sha Allah - even though I never say it out loud - I am acknowledging the Spiritual. I am admitting that the future is unknowable. I am placing my trust and faith in the Almighty, in the Grand Creative Force that already knows when I'm going to die, and how.

Because I don't know MY future or THE future, I get to be totally open to blessings, surprises, and unexpected help. Saying "God willing" is not me hedging my bets against negative circumstances. It's me being open to the best of what God and I can co-create together. As long as I listen to the whisperings of Spirit, instead of pretending like I know everything, life gets to be a fun adventure! I do not need to frustrate myself over rigid plans that don't work out, because I don't make rigid plans. I always leave some space for God.

If the pandemic taught me anything, it's that none of us knows a damn thing. I don't know of a single psychic, news pundit, sage, or political analyst that knew the world was going to be on lock-down for a year and a half. They don't know squat, and I don't know squat.

All I know is that I was put on this earth to make beautiful, meaningful things, and share them with special people who get it. I'm supposed to hold space for an evolved, post-racial future. And I'm supposed to put aristocratic images of people of color out into the world to subtly correct the slander of the past and erase it.

That's what I'm here to do. That's all I know (In Sha Allah).

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Till next time,

Raven